|This page contains material intended to be humorous. It should not be taken seriously or literally.|
The Wikipatch is a patch (similar to a nicotine patch) designed specifically for wikipediholics, to help them get off the hook while on a period of abstinence.
Wikipatch is made of:
- 32 kB plain text
- 2 spoons of wikisyntax
- 1 hint of partiality
- 2 glasses of NPOV
- 1 dose of trollism
- 1 link to the GFDL
There is also the Wikipatch Strong which adds to the previous list:
- 145 e-mails with broken encoding
- 12 IRC windows
- 1 new Wikimedia project
The wikipatch is attached to the side of a common house brick. Apply the wikipatch on the forehead for 15 seconds per dose.
- 1 to 2 times a month for anonymous users
- 3 to 4 times a week for logged in users
- 6 to 8 times a day for sysops
- 9 times a day for bureaucrats
- 10 to 15 times an hour for stewards
- 2 to 4 times a minute for board members
- 4 times a minute for Jimbo Wales
For use during more than 8 days, prefer the Wikipatch Strong.
Do not use for more than 15 days without referring to your phone company.
Good side-effects 
Wikipatch lets you put the children to bed in the evenings, pack (or unpack) boxes to move, blog, reply to personal e-mails and, more importantly, cook nice meals to share with other wikipediholics. It is also known to have improved marital relationships, specially in wikipediholic couples (if any).