User:Anthere/Disarmament crisis of March 2003

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Yesterday, I was thinking I would like to be a big powerful one sometimes.

So I decided to play as if I were a big powerful one.

Since the kids are sleeping in my bed these days, I thought would take the opportunity to transform their room into a huge battlefield for a couple of days.

So I hid the precious ones (the kids) in another place (the nanny), warned the local population I was unhappy about the way they ruled the place, set a deadline for them to move out of the place (a deadline that they - unilaterally - decided not to respect), and headed to the chemist store.

Bought a chemical weapon of mass destruction !

Went back on the theater of operations, put aside the possessions I wanted saved (the toys mostly), stripped apart the content of the houses (the beds, pillows, quilts, and other furry stuff), put on a gas mask to protect my respiratory system (a dishcloth on mouth and nose) and prevented the inhabitants from escaping (closed doors and windows).

Then, I lit the bomb, and sprayed the whole place, gassed all life around. It got foggy. Then, I placed the still half-full device in the middle of the battlefield, at high altitude for better atmospheric diffusion (on a chair), and pressed the red button.
A huge white, smelly and stinky cloud of gas erupted from the bomb. I dropped to the floor to search for some oxygen, and crawled out of the place (ok, this one is fantasy).

Opened the door just a bit, to prevent other life from escaping with me, got out, closed the door very carefully...then got out of the whole place to have a beer out in the quiet and warm sun, with the deep satisfaction of having lead a good, quick and efficient war, with reduced collateral damage (to me).

When I came back three hours later, I again put on my protective clothes, and headed back to the now disinfected area. Opened the window.

Then followed a long night "similar to a nuclear winter", the window opened in an attempt to make the area inhabitable again.

Finally, I was able to go to the place again, and spent quite some time burying the dead (in the vacuum cleaner), restoring fallen walls (well trying, the war was responsible for damaging a castle), and reopening the shops (the toys).
Finally I brought back the legal inhabitants, to start a happy new life in a purified area.

So satisfying.

Of course, as with all real opponents, the enemy never really disappears, so I know I will have a new war in about 3 months. That is tiresome, but well, it also brings so much satisfaction.

I wonder if men, leaders, should not do more housekeeping, fighting dust mites. Maybe that could be a relief technique ? [Oh yes... --audience]

Anthere 08:18 23 Mar 2003 (UTC)