Wikipatch
 | This contains material intended to be humorous. It should not be taken seriously or literally. |
The Wikipatch is a patch (similar to a nicotine patch) designed specifically for wikipediholics, to help them get off the hook while on a period of abstinence.
Composition
[edit]Active ingredients
[edit]Wikipatch is made of:
- 32 kB plain text
- 2 spoons of wikisyntax
- 1 hint of partiality
- 2 glasses of NPOV
- 1 dose of trollism
- 1 link to the GFDL and/or CC-BY-SA
There is also the Wikipatch Strong which adds to the previous list:
- 145 e-mails with broken encoding
- 12 IRC windows
- 1 new Wikimedia project
Adding on to that there is also Wikipatch Lite, a single byte package consisting of:
- 1 B plain text
- Other Wikiholics
Excipients: Enough for 1 patch
[edit]- Nonwoven fabric
- Debate level super glue
The wikipatch is attached to the side of a common house brick. Apply the wikipatch on the forehead for 15 seconds per dose.
- 1 to 2 times a month for anonymous users
- 3 to 4 times a week for logged in users
- 6 to 8 times a day for sysops
- 9 times a day for bureaucrats
- 10 to 15 times an hour for stewards
- 2 to 4 times a minute for board members
- 4 times a minute for Jimbo Wales
For use during more than 8 days, Wikipatch Strong is recommended.
Do not use for more than 15 days without referring to your phone company and/or ISP.
Good side-effects
[edit]Wikipatch lets you put the children to bed in the evenings, pack (or unpack) boxes to move, blog, reply to personal e-mails and, more importantly, cook nice meals to share with other wikipediholics. It is also known to have improved marital relationships, specially in wikipediholic couples (if any exists).