IRC/Quotes

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Comment Please make sure you have the consent of all involved before posting quotes.

Français: Canal IRC/extraits choisis

<jwales> I just realized that no one can actually understand anything about wikipedia until they read [[m:bash]]
<Morven> As a self-reference, of course, that should be quoted on [[m:bash]].

This is a collection of quotes from the channels in the Wikimedia Foundation's discussion channels and maybe a little from the recent changes channels if the RC-bot pulls something particularly funny. All entries here should be in fortune-compatible format, the goal here is to make a quality fortune-package.

Note: Please remove timestamps unless they're important to the humor value of the quote, but if you are going to use them please use the standard ISO 8601 date notation, also do not be afraid to edit the logs to leave out excess garbage such as another discussion which was going on at the same time or other irrelevant things, within fairness of course.

See also quotes on bugzilla.

Adding quotes[edit]

Many Wikipedia related IRC channels have rules against publishing chat-logs online. Please make sure you have the consent of all involved before posting or the people involved in administrating the IRC channels may remove your access. Also, it's rude. Yes, it's funny, until someone sees it as insensitive or whatever and holds it against the speakers.

Here is a list of people who permit any quotes of theirs to be used here (add yourself), unless stated otherwise. Some people have restrictions such as being quotable only from public channels - please respect those limitations. Everyone else must be asked before quoting.

  • Nick: Simetrical and variants —Simetrical (talk • contribs) 20:56, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Veinor and such. Veinor 22:22, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
  • Swatjester et al Swatjester 00:39, 16 June 2007 (UTC)
  • ElbridgeGerry and variants if you add them to the new QDB as well. 14:58, 16 June 2007 (UTC)
  • And any of my myriad alternate nicks. Face-smile.svg[[Animum | talk]] 23:01, 18 October 2007 (UTC)
  • Yes, what Animum said..--Cometstyles 23:44, 18 October 2007 (UTC)
  •  :-) O2 () 19:27, 20 October 2007 (GMT)
  • Martinp23
  • Coredesat (en.wp)
  • As long they are devoid of all original context. John Reaves (talk)
  • I doubt the chances of me actually coming up with a good quote in the first place, though. ;) GDonato 18:59, 14 November 2007 (UTC)
  • Krimpet 01:05, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
  • Jaranda | wat's sup 05:00, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
  • Even though I'm completely unfunny. kmccoy 08:40, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
  • My nick (and username, for that matter) are Voyagerfan5761, and quoting me is quite acceptable, though I doubt it'll be warranted. Ever. ;) Tuvok[T@lk/Wikipedia] 09:40, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
  • Cobi 00:56, 22 December 2007 (UTC)
  • As long as the quote doesn't do anything to make me look like a sound-minded or sane person, yes, it's fine to quote me. Out-of-context ftw! EVula // talk // // 19:09, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  • Whatever. DarkoNeko 06:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
  • Sure thing :) --FiLiP ¤ 16:04, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
  • I have too many nicks to list them all, but I have the cloak wikipedia/FastLizard4, which you should be able to find me by. --FastLizard4 06:34, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
  • Stifle 21:58, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
  • -- Bryan (talk|commons) 23:12, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
  • For private channels or PM, ask. Otherwise, give'er  — Mike.lifeguard | @en.wb 19:13, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
  • wikipedia:User:21655--I'm in as [21655] and CV|21655. Most of the time. 21655 15:56, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Per John Reaves. giggy (:O) 11:35, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
  • As long as I didnt say something dumb. Steve Crossin 18:05, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Nick is Sky2042, cloak is wikimedia/Izno --Izno 21:37, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Yah. WBOSITG 19:09, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Sure. Juliancolton 13:55, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Not that I ever say anything interesting. --DeadEyeArrow 05:52, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
  • I would be honored. Scott5114 08:57, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
  • I can't wait. Chet B Long 04:32, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
  • Yeah man. YixilTesiphon
  • I totally love m:bash XD Yamakiri 04:33, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
  • Not out of context; If I was saying something bizarre, please ask me first. --Thinboy00 00:02, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Neurolysis 21:35, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
  • User:J.delanoy "jdelanoy" on IRC. J.delanoygabsadds 20:26, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
  • Patton123 23:13, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
  • MC8, Microchip08 &c; Cloaked (wikimedia/microchip08). Microchip08 @simpleWB 19:46, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
  • You may quote me from any channel where I do not have a reasonable expectation of privacy (ie not admin-related channels, PMs ) NuclearWarfare 03:28, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Not that I ever say anything worth quoting. --Closedmouth 08:31, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Meep. ≈ MindstormsKid[citation needed] 01:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Per Cobi. X! 22:32, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Sure. bibliomaniac15 03:44, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
  • On the off-chance I say something funny. J Milburn 22:17, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
  • If you wish, drop me a line afterward. — Jake Wartenberg 23:16, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
  • Yes, anyone may do so, but please let me know if you do use on of mine. Thanks, Razorflame 00:28, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
  • Sure, though please make me aware. Huntster (t@c) 04:39, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
  • Just let me know on IRC afterwards.Res2216firestar 18:12, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
  • As long as you let me know. LuciferTiger 04:46, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
  • Me too. Soap 00:39, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
  • Just let me know (IRC:BackslashForward) Backslash Forwardslash 07:11, 3 April 2009 (UTC)
  • Feel free, as long as you let me know. Killiondude 04:26, 11 April 2009 (UTC)
  • David Gerard 20:52, 9 May 2009 (UTC) (anything I've said in a public channel; please ask first if it's from a private one or a dcc)
  • go4it UpstateNYer 20:51, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
  • Sure (but maybe ask beforehand). -- Mentifisto 03:19, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
  • Let me know. Fleetflame 03:36, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
  • I'd like to know when you're doing it. Nifky? 06:03, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
  • I thought I was here. Fail. :/ Pmlineditor 11:05, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
  • Sure. Just let me know beforehand. JamieS93 22:09, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
  • No prob. -- OlEnglish 00:10, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
  • No problem. Phantomsteve 22:25, 11 November 2009 (UTC)
  • Carry on. Zscout370 02:56, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Not likely to come up, but go ahead if in public channel. For private, I'll say "ask". Ever wonder 15:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
  • Public channels are fair game; private channels or PMs, ask first. Andrensath 04:27, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
  • Sure, but ask beforehand though. Blurpeace 02:23, 24 May 2010 (UTC)
  • In the off-chance I say something BASH-worthy... I'd appreciate a heads-up, though. ダイノガイ千?!? · Talk⇒Dinoguy1000 04:55, 11 June 2010 (UTC)
  • Sure. Avicennasis 23:41, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
  • Nick- Forty_two and its variants (Let me know first.) --Forty two 18:43, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
  • Whatever but let me know when you've done it. Bejinhan talks 12:46, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
  • Quotes are more funny when I don't know that I'm being quoted. Pilif12p 03:47, 6 August 2010 (UTC)
  • As far as it isn't so stupid Yeah :-) Diego Grez return fire 22:43, 9 August 2010 (UTC)
  • La Pianista 05:04, 10 August 2010 (UTC)
  • ask first for private channels/messages, please. I'm openstrings. sonia 08:37, 10 August 2010 (UTC)
  • My IRC nick is 'imaginewizard' and 'IW|away'. I have a Wikipedia cloak '<~chatzilla@wikipedia/Imagine-Wizard>'. You can quote me if you want (although I doubt I'd say anything that is worthy of quoting). I'd appreciate it if you told me you were doing so, but you don't have to. --Imagine Wizard 18:01, 13 August 2010 (UTC)
  • I'm always honored to be quoted, so feel free to repeat whatever I say, just as long as I did say something funny and you're not making it up. ;) Clementina 08:21, 28 September 2010 (UTC)
  • Sure. Tnxman307 16:54, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
  • Go ahead, just don't make it up. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 16:33, 30 October 2010 (UTC)
  • --Shirik 19:17, 31 October 2010 (UTC)
  • Sure, I keep logs so if it is not what I actually said, expect tumultuous times to follow... —Ancient Apparition 10:06, 14 November 2010 (UTC)
  • Hihihi :) NicFreed 03:46, 30 November 2010 (UTC)
  • I release all my writing on IRC into the public domain for your enjoyment... Joe Gazz84 17:49, 20 August 2011 (UTC)
  • Sure...Tofutwitch11 16:24, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Everything I say is hilarious, so go ahead. IShadowed 06:22, 19 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Yes. [CharlieEchoTango] 08:09, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Oui/si/yes. 123Hedgehog456 14:46, 12 March 2011 (UTC)
  • As long as it's funneh, go ahead. Even private convos, I don't mind. Sellyme 23:28, 8 May 2011 (UTC)
  • I am LikeLakers2 and I approve this message. LikeLakers2 17:59, 13 August 2011 (UTC)
  • If you must... (Nick: Guerillero) --Guerillero 21:09, 8 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Sure. (Nick: omtsh) -Orashmatash (talk) 22:14, 23 February 2012 (UTC)
  • I don't have anything to hide. Ugncreative Usergname (talk) 02:50, 4 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Go for it. The Blade of the Northern Lights (話して下さい) 00:19, 30 July 2012 (UTC)
  • I don't mind at all. My nick is FloatingBoat. Floating Boat (talk) 09:41, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
  • I do enjoy being quoted. PonyToast (talk) 19:14, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Feel free to quote me. --Deskana (talk) 21:01, 18 January 2013 (UTC)
  • In the unlikely even that I happen to be interesting, I don't mind it being quoted. It's rare enough. — Coren (talk) / (en-wiki) 02:22, 24 January 2013 (UTC)
  • You may quote anything I say in a (wikipedia / wikimedia-related) public IRC channel. --Kuzetsa (talk) 11:01, 12 February 2013 (UTC)
  • Yeah, sure. Vacation9 (talk) 00:19, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
  • No problem --Glaisher (talk) 06:51, 6 June 2013 (UTC)
  • Feel free to quote me. WikiPuppies bark dig 19:43, 13 July 2013 (UTC)
  • Nick: LlamaAl. LlamaAl (talk) 23:29, 20 July 2013 (UTC)
  • Sure. Nick: Southparkfan Cloak: @wikipedia/Southparkfan Southparkfan 19:13, 18 February 2014 (UTC)

How to make a fortune cookie jar[edit]

  • Execute the following program to create two files: wikimedia (the raw text of all the quotations on this page) and wikimedia.dat (a binary index into the text). Move them into your fortune cookie directory (/usr/share/fortunes or /usr/share/games/fortune).

perl -MLWP::UserAgent -e '$response = LWP::UserAgent->new->get("http://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=IRC/Quotes&action=raw"); die $response->status_line unless $response->is_success; die "Could not find quotation block on this page.\n" unless ($text) = $response->content =~ m,<pre><nowiki>(.*)</nowiki></pre>,sx; die "open: $ARGV[0]: $!\n" unless open F, ">", $ARGV[0]; print F $text; system "strfile", $ARGV[0], "$ARGV[0].dat"' wikimedia

Quotes[edit]

Archives of old channel quotes may be found here: Archives.

Please read the bit at the top about the Fortune-compatible format to reduce time spent on maintenance of this page. The quote beginning with "<DavidGerard> yes, it's suddenly fixed" demonstrates the format. Don't wikify this, it should be directly copied from the IRC channels (there is already a <nowiki></nowiki> tag around the whole thing). Also, please wrap your lines at the 79th character (both to prevent widening of this page, and to make it usable for text-based consoles).

Please insert new quotations at the bottom
%
(From #wikimedia)
<Nemo_bis> Too bad, I hoped for 
https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Cascadia to be a proposed user group 
of cascading protection enthusiasts.
%
(From #wikimedia-stewards)
<PeterSymonds> I know. In fairness, the community elects stewards in the full 
knowledge that we're all incompetent.
<PeterSymonds> So in a way it's your own fault.
%
* Helpmebot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
* Helpmebot (~hmb6@wikimedia/bot/helpmebot) has joined #wikipedia-en-helpers
* Helpmebot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
* Helpmebot (~hmb6@wikimedia/bot/helpmebot) has joined #wikipedia-en-helpers
* gwickwire gives Helpmebot some oil
<gwickwire> Hey, it only quit and rejoined my channel once....
<Helpmebot> Thanks, gwickwire
* gwickwire screams in terror and re-blows his rape whistle.
<Huon> what, because the bot thanks you for oil?
<gwickwire> YES! It shouldn't know how to do that!
[..]
<wolfgang42> I expect Helpmebot has probably achieved sentience by listening 
             to discussions on IRC
<Helpmebot> wolfgang42, OK, it took me a while, but after spending years sat 
            in various channels watching you guys, I finally just couldn't 
            keep quiet.
<wolfgang42> You see?
<gwickwire> Ah, okay
<Huon> okay, that would be convincing if I believed there was intelligent 
       conversation in IRC channels
%
(After a user signs out of IRC instead of their account on Wikipedia)
<+Superfreak> ...of IRC?
* +Superfreak sighs.
<+Superfreak> I just realised I breathed in deeply while typing that, then exhaled massively as soon as I hit inter.
<+Superfreak> *enter.
<+Superfreak> Synchronised sighing.
%
<Huon> sorry, my Latin is too rusty to reply in style
%
<Dragonfly6-7> malevolent galactic nematodes
<Fluffernutter> no thanks, I just ate
<Ironholds> I think that exchange demonstrates [#wikipedia-]en-admins quite well
%
* ragesoss sorely misses his clickety keyboard.
<Ironholds> ragesoss: I am tempted to get a mechanically-switched keyboard
<Ironholds> after investigation I have discovered it makes writing 30 percent more enjoyable.
<Ironholds> and that's science. can't argue with science.
<marktraceur> Ironholds: Yes you can, that's what makes it science!
%
<Helpmebot>        1 user is requesting help: [[User talk:Master of Puppets]] (waiting 02:40:04)
<MasterofPuppets>  Wait, what?
<MasterofPuppets>  Why am I requesting help...
<MasterofPuppets>  !link
<Helpmebot>        http://enwp.org/User_talk:Master_of_Puppets
<MasterofPuppets>  I just woke up from a nap and am a bit hazy.
<MasterofPuppets>  I was staring at this screen for a few seconds thinking "hmm. I 
should go help this Master of Puppets fellow."
<MasterofPuppets>  Then, I realized...
%
< Jetro> Carly PUNCH
< Jetro> :D
-!- Carly [~Unknown@pdpc/supporter/student/i-am-treasure] has quit [Ping
    timeout: 252 seconds]
< JohnLewis> Jetro... That must have been a good punch.
< Jetro> That worked rather well.
< Jetro> :D
%
[the question is posed: "How many Arbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?"]
<Fluffernutter> Trick question. Arbcom can't agree on whether to use incandescent 
or LED, so they just don't change the bulbs
<Wizardman> Screwing in's the easy part. taking it out to begin with? heh
<InShaneee> my answer: "Just one, but that doesn't count all the people who show 
up to the RfC to finalize the Lightbulb proposal"
<Wizardman> YOU UNSCREWED IT WRONG WAT R U DOIN
<Fluffernutter> alternative answer: Twelve to screw it in, one to leak 
the schematics
<InShaneee> "Unknown, the only electrician recused himself for 
prior involvement"
<Wizardman> Proposed Finding of Fact: Last time we changed the bulb, 
we screwed it in at night. Remedy: Don't screw it in during the daytime.
<Wizardman> ..but in what timezone? Crap, forget i said anything.
<InShaneee> Outside view by NotHelpingAnything: I think we should consider 
the possibility of using a car headlight, there's many benefits to be had
<Fluffernutter> "We don't have a procedure for changing lightbulbs. 
Before we can change anything, we need a motion!"
<Wizardman> Oppose: User is POV pusher who works for the car headlight company
<InShaneee> "As a volunteer encyclopedia, no one has a responsibility 
to change it. Tag the lightbulb, notify Wikiproject Building Maintenence, 
and let things take their course."
<Fluffernutter> "We don't need to figure this out ourselves, we'll just 
pass discretionary lightbulb sanctions and let AE figure it out"
<InShaneee> wait, wait, I've got it. "There is no need for a new lightbulb 
at this time. The current lightbulb is strongly cautioned not to stay burned out."
<Fluffernutter> InShaneee for arbcom!
<Wizardman> Remedy 6: The Local Power Company is reminded to make sure 
the lightbulb actually gets the wattage it needs.
<Wizardman> Meanwhile said company wasn't a party to the case and is 
confused as hell.
%
<gwickwire> and are you sure sex is the best ident?
<Susan> What should it be instead?
<gwickwire> well, not sex.
<Susan> buttsex?
%
<Mh7kJ> In Soviet Wikimedia Foundationstan, Hackathons attend YOU!
%
(Talking about how a file needed to be restored)
<Ktr101> hold on, i'm gonna use WP:refund, just to show i need the damn tools
<legoktm> ahahaha
<legoktm> +1
<Ktr101> i lost that rfa because of an open cci investigation and some spotty afd stuff
<Ktr101> cci=closed, editor who raised hell was explained the situation and now understands 
life, and now i have a good need that is unique
<Ktr101> :D
<legoktm> omg teh candidate voted '''weak keep''' instead of '''strong keep'''. I must 
'''strong oppose''' them. Maybe in 6 years. ~~~~
%
<gwickwire> i dont even know = idek
<Vacation9> more acronyms, just what WP needs @_@
<Vacation9> that was ironic
%
<AntiSpamMeta> IDoh|Editing: I control myself. I have an AI
<Swob> : O
<Swob> the bot speaks
%
<AntiSpamMeta> You can always quote me as long as the quote does not involve something 
extremely obviously intended to be private information
<fwilson> Oh look, AntiSpamMeta's nickserv password
%
ArticleWizard142 joined (4cf366db@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.243.102.219)
<+gwickwire> Hey ArticleWizard142, what can we help with?
ArticleWizard142 quit (4cf366db@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.243.102.219) Client Quit
<Pinkbeast> "how to stay logged in"
%
(in -en-helpers)
<Someguy1221> that's right
<Someguy1221> how DARE YOU, not put my article on wikipedia
<Someguy1221> what are they paying you people for?
<Someguy1221> this is the worst advertising service i have ever used!!
%
(in the Social channel)
<Pine> Carly: are you making PoohBot do your homework?
<PoohBot> Pine: Um... Yes?
<Pine> Isn't that cheating?
<Carly> Pine Poohbot is Mine,I can do everything with him
<PoohBot> Carly: No I don't.
<Carly> is mine and also of Poohbear
<Carly> Poohbot are you mine
<PoohBot> Carly: Well, you're wrong.
%
<fwilson> Let's code another voxelbot
<sdamashek> :(
<fwilson> well
<sdamashek> we could redo the awful code
<fwilson> well...
<fwilson> na
<sdamashek> yeah not fun
<sdamashek> :P
%
<Philippe> I think that agendas make it hard for new voices to break into 
the conversation. :-)
<Philippe> And they tend to instill artificial structure. and as anyone who's
seen my desk knows, I despise structure.
%
<StewardBot> DerHexer changed user rights for Vogone@hewikivoyage from (none) 
to import with the following comment: temporary needed
* StewardBot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
<Bencmq> imported goods scared StewardBot away
%
<Huon>  too bad you removed (name)'s comment, I had looked forward to telling 
him that yes, he made those edits, and he should go apologize to the bot
<Demiurge1000>  bots are human too!
<Demiurge1000>  like arbitrators!
<Huon>  weren't arbitrators bots anyway?
%
<Huon>  thank the bot, not me, or it'll retaliate
<Huon>  !skynet
%
(from #wikipedia-en-help)
<Revent>  Er, dammit, I'm giving the wring links...sec...
%
(from #wikimedia-stewards)
<QueenOfFrance>  Much better to call it consensus and just do a private poll among 
Snowolf and QueenOfFrance to see what should be done.
%
<Theo10011> There's 2 things we hate - 1- the way things are and 2- Change.
%
<Mh7kJ> A Wikipedia without drama is like North Korea without nukes.
%
<Nemo_bis> (name): is there a Meta-Wiki page on the project?
<mooeypoo> I prefer smoke signals.
%
<Howicus> Ain't no party like an arbcom party cause an arbcom party don't stop
<Howicus> ...until there's a round of blocks
%
<T13|sleeps> !tea Huon
* Helpmebot has run out of tea and pours Huon a cup of coffee instead.
<Huon> I really, really dislike that message
<Huon> coffee when I'm looking forward to my virtual tea. Ugh!
<T13|sleeps> !tea
* Helpmebot pours T13|sleeps a cup of tea.
<T13|sleeps> :p
<T13|sleeps> Can we trick it?
<T13|sleeps> !coffee Huon
* Helpmebot has run out of coffee and pours Huon a nice hot cup of tea instead.
<T13|sleeps> Ha!!!
<Huon> lol
<name> reverse psychology to trick HMB
%
<Pine> @steward oversight request, please ping if available
<@StewardBot> Stewards: Attention requested by Pine...
<QueenOfFrance> pong
<Pine> PM coming.
<Shirik> QueenOfFrance, he asked for a ping, not a pong, ffs
<QueenOfFrance> Shirik: lol
%
<FastLizard4> Technical_13: Are you sure you aren't the one abusing Helpmebot?
<FastLizard4> :p
<Technical_13> I always abuse the bots, I know they secretly like it. ;)
%
<Pine> I see your bot working, Sigma!
<SigmaWP> :)
<Pine> Hi Jianhui67
<Jianhui67> SigmaWP: is your bot taking over MiszaBot III's work
<SigmaWP> all of the miszabots, actually
<Pine> All your base are belong to Sigmabot.
%
<Nikerabbit> If it quacks like a duck... it still might be only a rubber duck.