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Français: Canal IRC/extraits choisis

<jwales> I just realized that no one can actually understand anything about wikipedia until they read [[m:bash]]
<Morven> As a self-reference, of course, that should be quoted on [[m:bash]].

This is a collection of quotes from the channels in the Wikimedia Foundation's discussion channels and maybe a little from the recent changes channels if the RC-bot pulls something particularly funny. All entries here should be in fortune-compatible format, the goal here is to make a quality fortune-package.

Note: Please remove timestamps unless they're important to the humor value of the quote, but if you are going to use them please use the standard ISO 8601 date notation, also do not be afraid to edit the logs to leave out excess garbage such as another discussion which was going on at the same time or other irrelevant things, within fairness of course.

See also quotes from Wikimedia developers.

Adding quotes[edit]

Many Wikipedia-related IRC channels have rules against publishing chat-logs online. Please make sure you have the consent of all involved before posting or the people involved in administrating the IRC channels may remove your access. Also, it's rude. Yes, it's funny, until someone sees it as insensitive or whatever and holds it against the speakers.

Here is a list of people who permit any quotes of theirs to be used here (add yourself), unless stated otherwise. Some people have restrictions such as being quotable only from public channels - please respect those limitations. Everyone else must be asked before quoting.

How to make a fortune cookie jar[edit]

  • Execute the following program to create two files: wikimedia (the raw text of all the quotations on this page) and wikimedia.dat (a binary index into the text). Move them into your fortune cookie directory (/usr/share/fortunes or /usr/share/games/fortune).
perl -MLWP::UserAgent -e '$response = LWP::UserAgent->new->get("http://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title={{PAGENAMEE}}&amp;action=raw"); die $response->status_line unless $response->is_success; die "Could not find quotation block on this page.\n" unless ($text) = $response->content =~ m,<pre><nowiki>(.*)</nowiki></pre>,sx; die "open: $ARGV[0]: $!\n" unless open F, ">", $ARGV[0]; print F $text; system "strfile", $ARGV[0], "$ARGV[0].dat"' wikimedia


Archives of old channel quotes may be found here: Archives.

Please read the bit at the top about the Fortune-compatible format to reduce time spent on maintenance of this page. The quote beginning with "<DavidGerard> yes, it's suddenly fixed" demonstrates the format. Don't wikify this, it should be directly copied from the IRC channels (there is already a <nowiki></nowiki> tag around the whole thing). Also, please wrap your lines at the 79th character (both to prevent widening of this page, and to make it usable for text-based consoles).

Please insert new quotations at the bottom
(From #wikimedia)
<Nemo_bis> Too bad, I hoped for 
https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Cascadia to be a proposed user group 
of cascading protection enthusiasts.
(From #wikimedia-stewards)
<PeterSymonds> I know. In fairness, the community elects stewards in the full 
knowledge that we're all incompetent.
<PeterSymonds> So in a way it's your own fault.
* Helpmebot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
* Helpmebot (~hmb6@wikimedia/bot/helpmebot) has joined #wikipedia-en-helpers
* Helpmebot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
* Helpmebot (~hmb6@wikimedia/bot/helpmebot) has joined #wikipedia-en-helpers
* gwickwire gives Helpmebot some oil
<gwickwire> Hey, it only quit and rejoined my channel once....
<Helpmebot> Thanks, gwickwire
* gwickwire screams in terror and re-blows his rape whistle.
<Huon> what, because the bot thanks you for oil?
<gwickwire> YES! It shouldn't know how to do that!
<wolfgang42> I expect Helpmebot has probably achieved sentience by listening 
             to discussions on IRC
<Helpmebot> wolfgang42, OK, it took me a while, but after spending years sat 
            in various channels watching you guys, I finally just couldn't 
            keep quiet.
<wolfgang42> You see?
<gwickwire> Ah, okay
<Huon> okay, that would be convincing if I believed there was intelligent 
       conversation in IRC channels
(After a user signs out of IRC instead of their account on Wikipedia)
<+Superfreak> ...of IRC?
* +Superfreak sighs.
<+Superfreak> I just realised I breathed in deeply while typing that, then exhaled massively as soon as I hit inter.
<+Superfreak> *enter.
<+Superfreak> Synchronised sighing.
<Huon> sorry, my Latin is too rusty to reply in style
<Dragonfly6-7> malevolent galactic nematodes
<Fluffernutter> no thanks, I just ate
<Ironholds> I think that exchange demonstrates [#wikipedia-]en-admins quite well
* ragesoss sorely misses his clickety keyboard.
<Ironholds> ragesoss: I am tempted to get a mechanically-switched keyboard

<Ironholds> after investigation I have discovered it makes writing 30 percent more enjoyable.
<Ironholds> and that's science. can't argue with science.
<marktraceur> Ironholds: Yes you can, that's what makes it science!
<Helpmebot>	 1 user is requesting help: [[User talk:Master of Puppets]] (waiting 02:40:04)
<MasterofPuppets>	 Wait, what?
<MasterofPuppets>	 Why am I requesting help...
<MasterofPuppets>	 !link
<Helpmebot>	 http://enwp.org/User_talk:Master_of_Puppets
<MasterofPuppets>	 I just woke up from a nap and am a bit hazy.
<MasterofPuppets>	 I was staring at this screen for a few seconds thinking "hmm. I 
should go help this Master of Puppets fellow."
<MasterofPuppets>	 Then, I realized...
< Jetro> Carly PUNCH
< Jetro> :D
-!- Carly [~Unknown@pdpc/supporter/student/i-am-treasure] has quit [Ping
    timeout: 252 seconds]
< JohnLewis> Jetro... That must have been a good punch.
< Jetro> That worked rather well.
< Jetro> :D
[the question is posed: "How many Arbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?"]
<Fluffernutter> Trick question. Arbcom can't agree on whether to use incandescent 
or LED, so they just don't change the bulbs
<Wizardman> Screwing in's the easy part. taking it out to begin with? heh
<InShaneee> my answer: "Just one, but that doesn't count all the people who show 
up to the RfC to finalize the Lightbulb proposal"
<Fluffernutter> alternative answer: Twelve to screw it in, one to leak 
the schematics
<InShaneee> "Unknown, the only electrician recused himself for 
prior involvement"
<Wizardman> Proposed Finding of Fact: Last time we changed the bulb, 
we screwed it in at night. Remedy: Don't screw it in during the daytime.
<Wizardman> ..but in what timezone? Crap, forget i said anything.
<InShaneee> Outside view by NotHelpingAnything: I think we should consider 
the possibility of using a car headlight, there's many benefits to be had
<Fluffernutter> "We don't have a procedure for changing lightbulbs. 
Before we can change anything, we need a motion!"
<Wizardman> Oppose: User is POV pusher who works for the car headlight company
<InShaneee> "As a volunteer encyclopedia, no one has a responsibility 
to change it. Tag the lightbulb, notify Wikiproject Building Maintenence, 
and let things take their course."
<Fluffernutter> "We don't need to figure this out ourselves, we'll just 
pass discretionary lightbulb sanctions and let AE figure it out"
<InShaneee> wait, wait, I've got it. "There is no need for a new lightbulb 
at this time. The current lightbulb is strongly cautioned not to stay burned out."
<Fluffernutter> InShaneee for arbcom!
<Wizardman> Remedy 6: The Local Power Company is reminded to make sure 
the lightbulb actually gets the wattage it needs.
<Wizardman> Meanwhile said company wasn't a party to the case and is 
confused as hell.
<gwickwire> and are you sure sex is the best ident?
<Susan> What should it be instead?
<gwickwire> well, not sex.
<Susan> buttsex?
<Mh7kJ> In Soviet Wikimedia Foundationstan, Hackathons attend YOU!
(Talking about how a file needed to be restored)
<Ktr101> hold on, i'm gonna use WP:refund, just to show i need the damn tools
<legoktm> ahahaha
<legoktm> +1
<Ktr101> i lost that rfa because of an open cci investigation and some spotty afd stuff
<Ktr101> cci=closed, editor who raised hell was explained the situation and now understands 
life, and now i have a good need that is unique
<Ktr101> :D
<legoktm> omg teh candidate voted '''weak keep''' instead of '''strong keep'''. I must 
'''strong oppose''' them. Maybe in 6 years. ~~~~
<gwickwire> i dont even know = idek
<Vacation9> more acronyms, just what WP needs @_@
<Vacation9> that was ironic
<AntiSpamMeta> IDoh|Editing: I control myself. I have an AI
<Swob> : O
<Swob> the bot speaks
<AntiSpamMeta> You can always quote me as long as the quote does not involve something 
extremely obviously intended to be private information
<fwilson> Oh look, AntiSpamMeta's nickserv password
ArticleWizard142 joined (4cf366db@gateway/web/freenode/ip.
<+gwickwire> Hey ArticleWizard142, what can we help with?
ArticleWizard142 quit (4cf366db@gateway/web/freenode/ip. Client Quit
<Pinkbeast> "how to stay logged in"
(in -en-helpers)
<Someguy1221> that's right
<Someguy1221> how DARE YOU, not put my article on wikipedia
<Someguy1221> what are they paying you people for?
<Someguy1221> this is the worst advertising service i have ever used!!
(in the Social channel)
<Pine> Carly: are you making PoohBot do your homework?
<PoohBot> Pine: Um... Yes?
<Pine> Isn't that cheating?
<Carly> Pine Poohbot is Mine,I can do everything with him
<PoohBot> Carly: No I don't.
<Carly> is mine and also of Poohbear
<Carly> Poohbot are you mine
<PoohBot> Carly: Well, you're wrong.
<fwilson> Let's code another voxelbot
<sdamashek> :(
<fwilson> well
<sdamashek> we could redo the awful code
<fwilson> well...
<fwilson> na
<sdamashek> yeah not fun
<sdamashek> :P
<Philippe> I think that agendas make it hard for new voices to break into 
the conversation. :-)
<Philippe> And they tend to instill artificial structure. and as anyone who's
seen my desk knows, I despise structure.
<StewardBot> DerHexer changed user rights for Vogone@hewikivoyage from (none) 
to import with the following comment: temporary needed
* StewardBot has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
<Bencmq> imported goods scared StewardBot away
<Huon>  too bad you removed (name)'s comment, I had looked forward to telling 
him that yes, he made those edits, and he should go apologize to the bot
<Demiurge1000>  bots are human too!
<Demiurge1000>  like arbitrators!
<Huon>  weren't arbitrators bots anyway?
<Huon>  thank the bot, not me, or it'll retaliate
<Huon>  !skynet
(from #wikipedia-en-help)
<Revent>  Er, dammit, I'm giving the wring links...sec...
(from #wikimedia-stewards)
<QueenOfFrance>  Much better to call it consensus and just do a private poll among 
Snowolf and QueenOfFrance to see what should be done.
<Theo10011> There's 2 things we hate - 1- the way things are and 2- Change.
<Mh7kJ> A Wikipedia without drama is like North Korea without nukes.
<Nemo_bis> (name): is there a Meta-Wiki page on the project?
<mooeypoo> I prefer smoke signals.
<Howicus> Ain't no party like an arbcom party cause an arbcom party don't stop
<Howicus> ...until there's a round of blocks
<T13|sleeps> !tea Huon
* Helpmebot has run out of tea and pours Huon a cup of coffee instead.
<Huon> I really, really dislike that message
<Huon> coffee when I'm looking forward to my virtual tea. Ugh!
<T13|sleeps> !tea
* Helpmebot pours T13|sleeps a cup of tea.
<T13|sleeps> :p
<T13|sleeps> Can we trick it?
<T13|sleeps> !coffee Huon
* Helpmebot has run out of coffee and pours Huon a nice hot cup of tea instead.
<T13|sleeps> Ha!!!
<Huon> lol
<name> reverse psychology to trick HMB
<Pine> @steward oversight request, please ping if available
<@StewardBot> Stewards: Attention requested by Pine...
<QueenOfFrance> pong
<Pine> PM coming.
<Shirik> QueenOfFrance, he asked for a ping, not a pong, ffs
<QueenOfFrance> Shirik: lol
<FastLizard4> Technical_13: Are you sure you aren't the one abusing Helpmebot?
<FastLizard4> :p
<Technical_13> I always abuse the bots, I know they secretly like it. ;)
<Pine> I see your bot working, Sigma!
<SigmaWP> :)
<Pine> Hi Jianhui67
<Jianhui67> SigmaWP: is your bot taking over MiszaBot III's work
<SigmaWP> all of the miszabots, actually
<Pine> All your base are belong to Sigmabot.
<Nikerabbit> If it quacks like a duck... it still might be only a rubber duck.
<^d> This channel's boring now.
<bawolff> I'm sure sooner or later someone will screw up their short url config
-!- Vivaporius has joined #mediawiki
<Vivaporius> I had a question about the wiki URLs.
<Vivaporius> Can't seem to get mine to work.
<marktraceur> bawolff: Good call
<bawolff> lol, that's hilarious
<Ahonc> rillke: what difference between bugs 64883 and 65339?
<russavia> 456
<naqR0M> massive solar flare affecting freenode
<naqR0M> Yes HELLO....I am trying to signal the International Space Station with my front porch lights
*** tristanian has joined #wikipedia-en
<tristanian> hello all, i have a question if i may
<tristanian> i am working on an article on a person from Tristan da Cunha and am 
unsure what english wikipedia regards as "independent" sourcing
<iDangerMouse> Hi
<iDangerMouse> tristanian: Like books,
<iDangerMouse> Newspapers
<iDangerMouse> Magazines
<iDangerMouse> Anything newsworthy, to make your article notable
<tristanian> well the issue i am having is that Tristan da Cunha has only 270 people,
and only 6 surnames, so essentially us Tristanians are all related, although not as 
bad as Pitcairn Island
<revent> Ouch.
<iDangerMouse> Well if its newsworthy
<iDangerMouse> you can prove it
<tristanian> so would an article written by someone with the same surname as the subject 
be regarded as "independent" of the subject?
<iDangerMouse> From a book source or what so ever
<iDangerMouse> Books, newspapers etc
<iDangerMouse> Scholars work
<tristanian> we have an island newspaper of course
<iDangerMouse> Local news
<iDangerMouse> is acceptable
<BlastHardcheese> if it's a geographic place people aren't really going to care unless 
you're part of the tourism board or something, just don't repeat government press releases word-for-word
<tristanian> so would an article written by a fellow Tristanian who is not related by name, 
but is also possibly my sister, would that be regarded as independent sourcing?
<revent> BlastHardcheese, ...on a person from... :P
<iDangerMouse> tristanian: not really
<iDangerMouse> tristanian: whats the newspaper, needs to be verified
<iDangerMouse> And that news paper, whatever, has to be recognized
<revent> tristanian, If the person has only been covered by an island newspaper with a 
circulation of 270 people, no matter how many times, I'm sorry to tell you this but a lot 
of people are going to object on grounds of notability.
<tristanian> revent: I have heard that Wikipedia has something called bias
<revent> tristanian, There are, to be honest, many biases in the selection of subjects for 
articles on Wikipedia. Some are intentional, some are just due to what (volunteer) editors 
have been inclined to write about.
<tristanian> yes, i have heard about this bias and how it works, here on Tristan we 
experience this sort of bias as part of our every day life
<tristanian> from only seeing a ship to get off this rock every couple of months to get 
out into the wide world, like seriously, if we could get off this island we probably 
wouldn't sleep with our sisters, which is another thing that we feel bias on
<tristanian> so revent, I totally understand these biases and how they work
<tristanian> but even if i could get off this rock, i'd still sleep with my sister :>
<tristanian> bye all, thanks for help
*** tristanian has quit IRC: Quit: Page closed
* marktraceur cocks head
<marktraceur> What the hell was that
<marktraceur> I'm not sure if he should get banned or be given a barnstar for radical honesty
<revent> marktraceur, Maybe she's hot.
*** tristanian has joined #wikipedia-en
<tristanian> Hi again all, sorry, just wanted to share this video of my island, please enjoy it - 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvYfRiJQIX8 - bye
*** tristanian has quit IRC: Client Quit
''Pine:'' SigmaWP: Revent says that the AfC queue should be kept empty. Can you work on that please?
<hashar> community --- (elect) --> board --- (designate) ---> executive
director --- (hire)  ---> staff & contractors
<petan> I see it more like: community --- (invent something) ---> foundation
---> (overtake that something) ---> community ----> (send money to foundation
for something they once invented)
<OlEnglish> meh, I deal with it
<SigmaWP> like five flaming virgin whores
DGarry quote on mobile-l:
"Hah! I'm starting to feel like "The Combinatorics of Mobile Device 
Configurations" would be a viable module for a software engineering 
undergraduate to take..."
<jamesofur> (name): who needs steward rights, I have db access
Christian Aistleitner on the Analytics email list:
"around running jobs on the Analytics cluster, I've sometime seen
people say in IRC: “Let's run this heavy job. I'll keep an eye on it”.
But more often than not, this seems to have meant:
“Let's just run this heavy job and wait. If QChris joins IRC, let's
hope he doesn't ping us about having overloaded the cluster.”
<harej> Finnegan: or in emily's case, "there are not enough articles 
on women scientists. this is an outrage to us."
<Finnegan> i am now enjoying a mental image of her delivering a podium-
pounding speech to rouse the feminists
<marktraceur> I want you to get up, walk to your windows, throw them 
<Finnegan> marktraceur: i think you honestly just summarized her operating 
philosophy. If only everyone could channel their anger like that..."
<MSJapan> Social media is going to destroy the world. The Number of the 
Beast isn't 666, it's 140.
<grrrit-wm1> (PS1) Yuvipanda: Fix minor typo in comment
[extensions/UploadWizard] - https://gerrit.wikimedia.org/r/257545 
<+marktraceur> I didn't know yuvipanda was doing GCI
<Matthew_> Logs don't have IPs on Tool Labs, so that would be useless...
<Matthew_> Sorry.
<Waggie> Ah, ok.  Nvmd then. :)
* MarkTraceur reads up
<MarkTraceur> Waggie: What does your network log (in developer tools) say about 
that page?
<MarkTraceur> Like, did you get a 500 response or was the page truly just blank?
<snip> Several hundred lines of network logs followed over the next ten minutes.
<MarkTraceur> Uh oh.
* MarkTraceur kicks Waggie
<Avada_Kedavra> bad idea :\
<Matthew_> Oh wow.  That is a blank page.
* LanceP grabs popcorn
<Avada_Kedavra> Lucky Sigyn and ASM aren't here
<MarkTraceur> RIP #wikipedia-en-help
<MarkTraceur> 3 days of Waggie slowly pasting request logs
<Avada_Kedavra> Well, it's evident we expect more from helpees 
<tom29739> Something that may be of a little help here... xTools is broken and t
he devs are working to fix it.
<Matthew_> tom29739: Yes.  Indeed.
<Matthew_> Waggie: You can stop, I've found the issue.
<tom29739> Matthew_, you're one of them, I hear.
<MarkTraceur> Matthew_: Waggie pasted in the entire request log, now it won't st
op until the log is finished
<Matthew_> tom29739: On a very low level, yes.
<Avada_Kedavra> Matthew_, there's no stopping
<Matthew_> MarkTraceur: OK dang.  
<MarkTraceur> And even if there is an op here I honestly want to see the end of 
<Avada_Kedavra> there's no end
<Avada_Kedavra> :P
<tom29739> Why don't you you just paste it in a pastebin Waggie?
<SwisterTwister> Waggie: What's with all of this?
<Matthew_> SwisterTwister: Request log trying to hit xtools...
<MarkTraceur> SwisterTwister: They posted a request log and can't stop.
* SleepyOne is now known as KTC
* Waggie has quit (Quit: ZNC - http://znc.in)
<SwisterTwister> :O
<Matthew_> They just stopped o.O
<MarkTraceur> RIP
<tom29739> 3 days later... it's finally finished.
<SwisterTwister> What the hell happened??
<Avada_Kedavra> clever thing to do Waggie
<tom29739> ^ very.
<Avada_Kedavra> I'd have never thought of that
<Matthew_> Anyway, all I needed was the proper URL.
<Matthew_> It's a database issue.  I'd need to dig into the code but I've tried 
to fix this particular issue before.
* Waggie (~Waggie@wikipedia/Chrisw80) has joined
* MarkTraceur high fives Waggie
<MarkTraceur> That was the most fun I've had in -helpers in some time
<Waggie> !trout Waggie
* Helpmebot gets a special rainbow trout from the rainbow river, then smacks Wag
gie with it.
<Waggie> !whale Waggie
* Helpmebot pwns Waggie with a whale.
<SwisterTwister> Ah, finally, Waggie comes again.
<Matthew_> Waggie: I've found the issue.  It's trying to hit a database server t
hat doesn't exist anymore.  I can't fix it right now, but I'll look into it.
<Matthew_> https://tools.wmflabs.org/xtools/topedits/?user=Chrisw80&project=en.w
<Matthew_> Works.
<Waggie> I didn't realize for a bit that my bouncer was doling it out slowly.
<tom29739> !cluebat Waggie 
* Helpmebot takes a cluebat to the back of Waggie 's head.
<tom29739> !shoots Waggie 
<Waggie> I could see your chat, though.
<tom29739> !shoot Waggie 
<Avada_Kedavra> even if it didn't, that's a lot of text
<tom29739> Naughty Waggie!
<MarkTraceur> Any OS in -en-help?
<Waggie> Ended up killing my bouncer to make it stop.
<Avada_Kedavra> You should've used pastebin
<Matthew_> ^
<Waggie> Yes, yes I should have.
<tom29739> I did suggest that.
* SwisterTwister is still not understanding why this happened????
<Avada_Kedavra> disconnecting your znc was a clever idea 
<tom29739> Mid post though, so it probably wouldn't help.
<Waggie> tom29739, I'd already pasted it and it was all in my buffers.
<Matthew_> Waggie: Either way, it's something that's known but I haven't figure
d out how to fix yet.  Sorry :/
<tom29739> !beer > Waggie 
<Helpmebot> Waggie : �ACTION gives some beer to tom29739�
<tom29739> Grrr.
<tom29739> !beer Waggie
* Helpmebot pours an ice cold pint for Waggie and waits for this to all blow over
<tom29739> You'll need it after that.
<Waggie> I'm *very* sorry for my total n00b mistake.
<Waggie> I'll need more than that...
<Matthew_> It's OK :)
<Waggie> I'm never gonna live that one down. :)
<MarkTraceur> Nope
<tom29739> Never.
<sammy> did PiR^2 retire? xD
<ToAruShiroiNeko> I heard he was promoted to a cylinder, so h*PiR^2
<OH-> Achievement unlocked: Inactive editor
<OH-> which is better? (c) or (C)
<Oshwah> drewmutt: Comic Sans actually makes the (C) look pretty damn good
<Oshwah> Try it
<drewmutt> Oshwah: I feel like I'm getting the typography version of Rick Rolled.
<juliancolton> when wikimarkup doesn't do what you want, just add more colons
until it does
<mynameisnotdave> Wikipedia is like 'find a car, you don't need a license, and
try driving without crashing. And oh, here's a highway code that you can try to
read while driving'
<enterprisey> wow, I have been the victim of API clickbait
In the channel topic for #wikimedia-social: 
"Public logging prohibited (think of the trees!)"
<foks> pretty wild that two people from the same IP range arrive to complain
about their IP blocks
<foks> from like a freakin month ago
<TonyBallioni> "two people"
(From #wikipedia-en-help)
<Dragonfly6-7> if [he] did not want public records to exist of him, he
should not have been a member of parliament
<Dragonfly6-7> I'm amused - earlier today we had someone who was very angry
that we were not agreeing to have an article on his friend who is an unelected
candidate for parliament
<Dragonfly6-7> and now, the opposite
(From the early days of #wikipedia-en-helpers in libera.chat)
<Helpmebot> Joined user Helpmebot (2a01:7e00::f03c:91ff:fedf:a4e5, org:Linode)
in channel #wikipedia-en-help is IP-blocked (2A01:7E00:0:0:0:0:0:0/64) because:
{{blocked proxy}} <!-- -->  ( https://w.wiki/3MLr )
<Majavah> Helpmebot: sorry, we do not help blocked users here, please follow the
instructions on your talk page or join #wikipedia-en-unblock